Reconnecting

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"I’ve been worrying that I’m losing the ones I hold dear. I’ve been worrying that we all live our lives in the confines of fear."

-Ben Howard

 

This month we’re talking about reconnecting as November includes National Forget-Me-Not Day and Thanksgiving. The other day I was listening to a song (The Fear) by Ben Howard. Its lyrics reminded me of the importance of finding time to reconnect with friends, family and loved ones. We can always create our own opportunities to iron out any old grudges we may have because days slide easily into weeks and months and years.  

A great lecture I heard recently discussed anger and resentment and how firmly we try to hold onto it. Below are some thought-starters that resonated with me. Hoping these can help you as well on your journey.

  • Every opportunity to develop anger can also be an opportunity to develop patience.

  • When you keep your own anger going, you maintain the continual anger of not forgetting, which can turn into resentment that is toxic in your heart.

  • Ask yourself "What is it that I'm really defending here?"

  • Saying "I’m sorry" can be hard to do because it is a tall mountain of ego we first need to climb down.

  • Forgiveness for others is really a way to heal yourself.

My friend recently promised me that she would finally reach out to her dad, who she hasn’t seen since she was 10, by the end of this year. There are many factors that resulted in this situation for my friend, but often the first step can just be to recognize that reaching out is indeed scary because of the hurt or anger that's occurred on both sides in the past. One way to get through this challenge is to try setting a pact with a friend who may be going through something similar. Along with a reasonable timeline, you can help encourage one another and hold each other accountable. Remain open to all outcomes and most importantly, be proud and compassionate towards yourself for taking a difficult step to reconnect and heal.